News from Nowhere: Trumped Again
When you're playing with sweaty gelignite, or cosying up to the big bad wolf, it might be wiser, Prime Minister, not to bring it home to meet your folks.
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There's now talk of Trump making a grand state visit to the UK, but perhaps Mr. Starmer should consider cashing in his chips from this brief transatlantic bromance while their stock is still high. (Al Mayadeen English; Illustrated by Zeinab el-Hajj)
A recent poll of readers of the left-leaning Daily Mirror newspaper found that 56 per cent of those readers believe that Donald Trump's second presidency will cause problems for the UK, with some even going so far as to predict a future of "untold damage" being wreaked to and through our relationship with the United States.
The Mirror's right-wing rival, the Daily Express on the same day anticipated there would soon be a "huge clash" between the two nations as a result of the new American president's demand that Britain increase its defence spending from its current level of 2.3 per cent of Gross Domestic Product to 2.5 per cent by the end of the decade.
NATO currently asks its members to commit 2 per cent of their GDPs to defence. Beaten by both Poland and Estonia, the United States last year committed 3.8 per cent. Britain currently scores higher than both Germany and France, and, after the USA, has the second largest relative contribution of any major economy in the NATO alliance. Italy, Canada, Belgium and Spain are all on less than 1.5 per cent.
It seems unlikely therefore that Trump will come after the United Kingdom first on that point. He has bigger – and more obviously European – fish to fry.
Before his inauguration, the signs, nevertheless, had not been great for the so-called special relationship under President Trump. The UK Prime Minister's absence from that event had been highlighted by the British press, and transatlantic relations looked to be strained, not merely because of ideological differences – those would hardly matter much to two such committed pragmatists – but because of insults which Labour's leadership had thrown in Trump's direction during his first stint in the White House (when Keir Starmer's party had enjoyed the luxury of candour, as they'd been fortunate enough to be out of government).
Things hadn't then been helped by a little spat over Labour Party volunteers helping out with the Democrats' 2024 campaign; but Mr. Starmer had been smart enough to visit Mr. Trump during that election campaign, paying tribute to the Donald and sitting through a two-hour session of dinner and self-aggrandisement with the once-and-future president at his New York shrine to himself, and to all the gods of bling, Trump Tower.
When Sir Keir announced that his choice for British ambassador to Washington was to be a certain Lord Mandelson – a former strategist and fixer for Tony Blair, and the smarmiest politician in a world of oozing smarm – Trump was reported to have been "dismayed" by the proposed appointment. This may have been because the incoming president prefers to force people with residues of self-respect – rather than natural born grovellers like Lord Mandelson – to abandon their dignity and kowtow to his infinite glory and merciless grace.
It might also not have been a good sign that Trump's best buddy – and biggest funder – the villainous Elon Musk, had decided to spend his time (when not making Nazi salutes and then facetiously denying having made Nazi salutes) trolling Starmer and members of his government on his social media platform – and, when that hadn't provoked enough of a reaction, had tried to out-do his lord and master's territorial claims to Canada, Greenland and the Panama Canal by announcing that the piece of water which the British call the English Channel (and which the French call La Manche) should be renamed the George Washington Channel, for no other apparent reason than that it would wind up the Brits.
(Musk himself is of course South African. It's a miracle he hasn't demanded that the stretch of sea be rechristened the Kruger Strait.)
Towards the end of last month, however, just as the Muskrat was doing his best to cause further rifts between his beloved Donald and the much-loathed Sir Keir, there were strong hints that the British and American leaders might – in the spirit of their shared commitment to unprincipled pragmatism – be in the early stages of reconciliation.
(Indeed, this might be one reason why the puerile Mr. Musk has seemed so desperate to stir things up between the United Kingdom and the United States, jealous that he might lose his new best friend to the bigger boy on the other side of the pond.)
As Trump has been busying himself threatening trade tariffs against any nation that won't kneel down and do his bidding, the fake-tan president stunned reporters aboard Air Force One when he described the British Prime Minister as a "very good person" who's been doing a "very good job" – and as someone with whom he "gets along very well".
This was only the beginning. Within 24 hours, it was announced that Trump and Starmer had spoken for 45 minutes by telephone, an exchange of views described as "very warm" and "very personal" (in, one assumes, a positive way), and which began to explore ways (in the words of Trump's otherwise aggressively protectionist administration) to "promote a fair bilateral economic relationship".
This surprise tone of moderation and reconciliation was prompted perhaps by increasingly welcoming overtures towards Britain being made by the European Union – a trading bloc loathed by Mr. Trump and from which the American president would love to further isolate the UK.
Yet his friendly words must have made jaws drop at the World Economic Forum in Davos, where Trump had just that weekend beamed in his ultimatum – the choice between American domination and economic annihilation.
There's now even talk of Trump making a grand state visit to the UK, but perhaps Mr. Starmer should consider cashing in his chips from this brief transatlantic bromance while their stock is still high.
The potential fallout from a Trump visit – angry street protests, ill-considered comments from a Cabinet colleague caught off guard at the end of a lavish banquet, and the possibility of the president trying to say or do something beyond the bounds of royal protocol to the Queen Consort – might make it too great a risk to take.
When you're playing with sweaty gelignite, or cosying up to the big bad wolf, it might be wiser, Prime Minister, not to bring it home to meet your folks.
And do you really, Sir Keir, want to go down the route followed by your famous predecessor, the Labour premier now known as Sir Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, whose own close friendship with another American president of limited intellectual prowess hardly set the world on fire – except, of course, when it quite literally did?