Like others who knew Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, I never expected to speak about him as a martyr.

With these words, Ghassan Ben Jeddou, Al Mayadeen's Chairman of the board of directors, began his reflections on martyred Hezbollah Secretary-General Sayyed Nasrallah, whom he described as a man who "never liked us to talk about him, nor to praise him, whether in his presence or absence."

In an interview with Al Mayadeen as part of its coverage of Sayyed Nasrallah’s martyrdom, Ben Jeddou recalled a moment from 2014 when he was going through a difficult time—something Sayyed Nasrallah was aware of. "I was by his side, and His Eminence made me a promise. He told me, ‘When you are martyred, I will speak about you.’ I kissed his forehead then and thanked him, believing I would meet God before him. It never crossed my mind that I would be speaking about him as a martyr."

Reflecting on the moment he received the devastating news, Ben Jeddou recounted, "I was here, at Al Mayadeen. When I heard the massive explosion, the first words I uttered were, ‘[Let it be anyone but] Sayyed.’"

A strike that shook mountains

Describing the force of the strike that led to Sayyed Nasrallah’s martyrdom, he said, "It was extremely powerful… Beirut shook, the mountains shook, and the place where we were shook. Given the magnitude of the strike, it was clear that the target was a major and highly significant leader."

"I only thought of Sayyed, may God have mercy on him," Ben Jeddou said. "But like everyone else, I held onto hope that he would survive that earthquake."

The night before the official announcement of Sayyed Nasrallah’s martyrdom, Ben Jeddou learned the truth. "I spoke to two people, and one of them told me, ‘We are handling the situation as if Sayyed has been martyred.’" His immediate response was, "Is Sayyed Hashem safe?"

He received a confirmation: "Yes, Sayyed Hashem is safe." Ben Jeddou explained why he had asked: "Like many others, I believed that among those most qualified to succeed Sayyed Nasrallah was Sayyed Hashem Safieddine."

Ben Jeddou recalled his reaction upon confirmation of Sayyed Nasrallah’s martyrdom. "I was struck by a cold shock, an unnatural calm… I did not shed a tear for Sayyed on that day."

His primary concern in that moment was ensuring the continuity of Al Mayadeen, he said. "I felt that my responsibility was not to speak, not to waste time in anything other than focusing on Al Mayadeen… I saw it as my duty to step away from the spotlight, to refrain from talking or writing."

However, the emotional toll surfaced weeks later. "Two weeks after his martyrdom, I experienced a nervous breakdown… That night, I could not sleep. It was an overwhelming nervous collapse."

The last encounter

Ben Jeddou’s last encounter with Sayyed Nasrallah was on the eve of Operation al-Aqsa Flood, he revealed, adding that he had been preparing for what he called "the interview of a lifetime" with the revered Secretary-General.

"I had sent him a list of topics and key points on June 25, 2020… I had expressed my wish to conduct a long, in-depth interview with him," he said. 

Ben Jeddou recalled a conversation from 2002, part of which was later aired in the series Forty and Beyond documentary on Hezbollah for its 40th anniversary. In 2019, he persistently urged Sayyed Nasrallah to discuss his tenure as Secretary-General of Hezbollah and the broader Arab and Islamic landscape since the party’s inception. "My goal was to talk about him. But to avoid making him uncomfortable, I framed it as a discussion about these historical phases from his perspective. He agreed."

By June 2020, Ben Jeddou had compiled "a list of 200 topics, broken down into numerous questions—nearly a thousand in total."

In mid-August last year, Ben Jeddou requested an interview with Sayyed Nasrallah to mark the first anniversary of Operation al-Aqsa Flood.

"I contacted Hajj Jihad, who later became known as the great martyr Samir Deeb. I told him I would be sending a request to His Eminence for an interview. He told me, ‘If it were up to me, the interview should not happen. But it is my duty to pass on your request to Sayyed.’"

A few days later, Hajj Jihad called Ben Jeddou back. "He informed me that Sayyed had approved the interview." Ben Jeddou then sent a list of discussion points.

A personal, valuable gift

Ben Jeddou also spoke about Sayyed Nasrallah’s generosity. "He was incredibly generous… If someone asked him for something, he would give it. Even when we didn’t ask, he would offer." 

But the most precious gift he ever received from Sayyed was "his personal cloak," which was given to him after the July 2006 war. "After the war, I visited him privately. At the end of our meeting, he took off his cloak and placed it on me. It was the most sacred and significant gift. Photos were taken of that moment, though I never received them. But the cloak remains with me, preserved in a special frame."

Sayyed Nasrallah has always valued the media and its role, according to Ghassan Ben Jeddou, chairman of Al Mayadeen. "He was very interested in the media, greatly appreciated it, and understood its importance."

At the same time, he did not treat journalists as exceptionally different from others in terms of conduct. "He is naturally well-mannered, and while journalists might see themselves as special, it was because he met them with warmth, a smile, kind words, hospitality, and great courtesy," Ben Jeddou said.

Ben Jeddou recalled a visit to Sayyed Nasrallah in 2020, during which he sought permission to produce a major documentary on Hezbollah for its 40th anniversary two years later. Sayyed Nasrallah responded, "You are free to do so... What does this have to do with me?" When Ben Jeddou clarified that he was seeking permission for Sayyed Nasrallah and Hezbollah leaders to discuss the matter, the leader replied, "I ask you, please, not to have me speak in this documentary, but it would be good for my brothers to talk."

Regarding Forty and Beyond, Ben Jeddou revealed that "the interviews were fully transcribed, but not all of them were broadcast." He also disclosed that Sayyed Nasrallah had briefed Hezbollah’s military leadership on the series, giving it high praise. "They understood that this man (Ben Jeddou) was trustworthy and that they could work with him."

Relationship with martyr Rafic Hariri

Ben Jeddou highlighted Sayyed Nasrallah’s deep personal connection with former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri. "He was deeply affected by Hariri on a personal level before even considering the national dimension."

Nasrallah and Hariri met "34 times in secret, with only two people aware of these meetings apart from their security teams and Imad Mughniyeh: Nazik Hariri and Mustafa Nasser." Ben Jeddou described their 34th meeting as one of "extraordinary warmth and affection."

Hariri had even entrusted Sayyed Nasrallah with relaying political messages. After Hariri’s assassination, Ben Jeddou recalled Sayyed Nasrallah’s reaction: "He was deeply moved and said, 'We had reached a shared conviction for long-term cooperation.'" Sayyed Nasrallah added, "Apart from Speaker Nabih Berri and my special relationship with the Amal Movement, I had an organic relationship with Hariri that was unlike any other."

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Hezbollah's indomitable resolve

Ben Jeddou also disclosed that "an exceptional avenue of cooperation had been established with Hariri on all matters. They had reached agreements on almost everything, including the parliamentary elections expected in 2005 or 2006. They agreed on alliances and cooperation, with only two unresolved points: one concerning the Tashnag Party, which was settled, and the other regarding the Islamic Group (Al-Jamaa Al-Islamiya). Unfortunately, Hariri was assassinated before it could be resolved."

After Hariri’s assassination, Sayyed Nasrallah "sensed a serious threat to Lebanon and was certain about who had ordered or orchestrated the killing." He foresaw "a major regional upheaval, particularly a Sunni-Shia sectarian conflict," Ben Jeddou said. The Hezbollah leader believed that if he and Hariri had continued their cooperation, "we would have seen a major path toward Islamic unity between Shia and Sunnis, especially within Lebanon."

Despite later political tensions, Ben Jeddou stressed that Sayyed Nasrallah "continued to hold great respect and affection for the Hariri family." Although he disapproved of Saad Hariri leaving Lebanon, "he understood his reasons and found justification for him... After all, he needed to preserve his life."

2008-2009 assassination attempt

Ben Jeddou revealed that Sayyed Nasrallah survived a serious assassination attempt by the Israeli occupation between 2008 and 2009. "A squadron of Israeli aircraft was dispatched to kill him in Lebanon," he stated, adding that "the operation was halted by the Americans."

Going on about assassinations, Sayyed Nasrallah was profoundly affected by the assassination of Imad Mughniyeh. "Their relationship was extraordinary on a personal level, not just as secretary-general and military commander."

Moreover, the loss of Lieutenant General Qassem Soleimani also deeply impacted Sayyed Nasrallah. Ben Jeddou recalled Sayyed Nasrallah saying, "I wished God had taken my soul instead of Soleimani’s."

Soleimani had expressed a similar sentiment: "He once told me, 'I cannot bear the thought of Sayyed Nasrallah being martyred or passing away. I pray that if one of us must be assassinated, let it be me. I ask God to keep Sayyed as a pillar for this Ummah.'"

Ben Jeddou emphasized that Soleimani "did not just love and admire Sayyed Nasrallah—he revered him in an exceptional way, seeing him as second only to or equal to Sayyed Ali Khamenei."

Another figure whose martyrdom affected the leader deeply was his own son, Hadi.

'Most beautiful encounters'

Reflecting on his interviews with the Hezbollah Secretary-General, Ben Jeddou said, "He always preferred sitting at a table, feeling in control. He loved pens, paper, and writing."

He emphasized that Sayyed Nasrallah's interviews were "not prepared the way people imagine. We discussed broad topics, but the detailed questions were never rehearsed. He liked to take notes."

Ben Jeddou described his post-Soleimani interview with Sayyed Nasrallah as "one of the most beautiful and emotional encounters with Sayyed," adding that he was "deeply moved yet at peace."

For this interview, Ben Jeddou requested a different setting. "I suggested replacing the table with sofas so he could be more at ease, as this was a historic conversation. They arranged it as such, and we were both comfortable."

He also disclosed that the interview took place "in the very hall where Sayyed Nasrallah was martyred." A large portrait of Soleimani and Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis adorned the room. "I expressed my admiration for it, and the next day, Hajj Jihad called me and said, ‘I’m sending you something’—it was that very portrait."

Special admiration from leader Khamenei

Ben Jeddou recounted an event from the late 1980s when Hezbollah’s leadership visited Iran to meet Sayyed Ali Khamenei before the Taif Agreement. The party’s leadership posed a question to Khamenei, who told them, "Come back to me in 48 hours."

"They returned two days later, and he gave them two key principles. First, he told them, ‘Hezbollah is a free and independent party within Lebanon. You do not need to refer to me for internal matters—your decisions are your own.’" The second principle was: "If a major crisis arises in Lebanon or beyond, and you feel the need to consult me, know that Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah’s opinion is my opinion."

At that time, Sayyed Nasrallah was not yet Secretary-General. "Everyone turned to him, realizing he held a special place with Sayyed Khamenei."

Ben Jeddou also disclosed that in recent years, Sayyed Nasrallah had visited Tehran multiple times in unannounced trips. "Some visits were at his request, while others were at the request of Iranian officials who wanted his perspective on key issues."

Views on al-Aqsa Flood

Following Operation Al-Aqsa Flood, Sayyed Nasrallah deliberately kept Hezbollah’s actions discreet. Ben Jeddou noted, "Eighteen days after the operation, when Hezbollah launched its support battle, some Palestinian factions expected a greater intervention."

Some voices on social media also called for more support. "I took the initiative to send Sayyed Hassan a message with suggestions, including appointing a military spokesperson for Hezbollah," Ben Jeddou revealed.

The Hezbollah leader replied through an intermediary: "I intentionally refrained from making announcements. We do not want to outshine our Palestinian brothers or claim credit for their actions. This will be a long-term strategy."

He emphasized a key objective: "I hope the outcome of Al-Aqsa Flood will be a purely Palestinian victory." He was even more explicit: "I want it to be a Palestinian, Arab, and Sunni victory. I do not want anyone to say that Hezbollah or the Shia allies of the Palestinian resistance played a major role. This was not just about support—there was a joint operations room and much more."

Sayyed Hashem awaited Sheikh Qassem's decision

Sheikh Naim Qassem took the initiative to call Sayyed Hashem Safieddine to elect him as Hezbollah's Secretary-General, Ben Jeddou said. 

"Sayyed Hashem was waiting for Sheikh Naim Qassem's decision, as he was the first candidate for the position," Ben Jeddou said. "Sheikh Naim was the one who initiated the call and told Sayyed Safieddine, 'We must elect you immediately and swiftly as Secretary-General.' But Sayyed Hashem debated with him for a bit."

Sheikh Qassem insisted, saying, "We cannot waste time. It is a show of strength for Hezbollah to announce the election of a Secretary-General quickly and immediately. I am now speaking as the Deputy Secretary-General."

Ben Jeddou added that the announcement was supposed to be made on the same day Sayyed Safieddine was targeted, making it natural for Sheikh Qassem to be elected afterward. "The party, the military resistance leadership, and even some allies abroad were surprised by Sheikh Qassem’s success and competence in managing the military battle," he noted.

An exceptional, one-of-a-kind leader

On a different note, Ben Jeddou recounted an emotional moment with Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, saying, "I witnessed Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah cry three times. Twice, he was weeping for his people, his supporters, and his environment. He had an unparalleled love and gratitude for them. After the July War, I saw him deeply affected, shedding tears over the destruction and displacement his people suffered. He even visited the displaced in Sanayeh Park, overwhelmed with emotion."

Regarding the events of May 7, Ben Jeddou recalled a meeting where Sayyed Nasrallah provided detailed clarifications to a prominent Arab Islamic leader sent by the Muslim Brotherhood. "He explained everything to dispel the notion that May 7 was a sectarian conflict. It was never about Sunnis and Shias. During that conversation, Sayyed Nasrallah cried," Ben Jeddou revealed.

"Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah was extraordinarily courageous. Contrary to popular belief, he was not hiding in tunnels. I never met him in a tunnel—not once. I met him dozens of times, always above ground, sometimes in high-rise buildings. The tunnels were for high-ranking meetings and operations, not for his residence."

He emphasized the importance of Nasrallah’s funeral. "A massive crowd of loyalists will participate because Sayyed was courageous. People must honor him with the same courage and loyalty he had for them."

'Taken at a time when we needed him most'

Reflecting on Sayyed Nasrallah’s martyrdom, Ben Jeddou stated, "Yes, he was martyred early. Yes, he was taken at a time when we needed him the most. But he deserved martyrdom. He deserves to be in the highest ranks of paradise. Would you rather Hassan Nasrallah have died a natural death? Martyrdom befits him. The very essence of martyrdom was elevated by embracing Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah."

Ben Jeddou admitted his profound sorrow, saying, "This grief will stay with me for a lifetime. I have never mourned anyone the way I mourn Sayyed Hassan—not my father, not my mother, not anyone else. May God help us move forward."

He also recalled Nasrallah’s deep respect for Lebanese Parliament Speaker Nabih Berri. "In 2016, on the tenth anniversary of the July War, I suggested a special dialogue between Sayyed Nasrallah and President Berri. He was surprised at first but welcomed the idea, saying, 'Let’s do it; I miss President Berri.' Unfortunately, circumstances prevented it."

Finally, Ben Jeddou reflected on Nasrallah’s relationship with Al Mayadeen. "He never interfered in its affairs but loved and trusted it. He knew of its establishment before it launched, and I consulted him about it. He told me, 'I wish you all the success, but be aware, the competition will be fierce, and you will be viewed in a certain way. May God help you.'"

He concluded with a final message: "Rest in peace, our dearest and most revered leader. Your Ummah loves you, your people remain loyal, and your resistance guards your legacy. Al Mayadeen will continue, as an idea and a project, whether with me or without me. The journey goes on."